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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149363">There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CristinaBlackthornKingson/pseuds/CristinaBlackthornKingson'>CristinaBlackthornKingson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red White &amp; Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Babies, Children of Characters, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Kidfic, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Marriage, Medication, Mental Health Issues, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood, Original Character(s), Other, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Pregnancy, Prequel, Royalty, Therapy, Two Fathers, Wives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:22:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,095</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149363</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CristinaBlackthornKingson/pseuds/CristinaBlackthornKingson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Catherine Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor has struggled with depression for a very long time, and that doesn't change when she becomes a mother for the first time. When she has one of her worst mental health days since giving birth, when Philip is 3 months old, she feels like the worst mother in the world, but Arthur is there to love, comfort and assure her and take care of both her and their baby.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Arthur Fox &amp; Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Arthur Fox &amp; Philip Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Arthur Fox/Catherine Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Catherine Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor &amp; Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Catherine Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor &amp; Philip Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Catherine Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor&amp;Queen Mary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>**TW/CW**</p>
<p>Mental illness. <br/>Depression.<br/>Bad depression days. <br/>New parent guilt.<br/>Post Natal Depression.<br/>Victim blaming.<br/>Therapy.<br/>Anti-depressants.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is a cold early morning in May 1991, when Princess Catherine Fox-Mountchristen Windsor fully realizes and accepts that today is going to be a bad mental health day. </p>
<p>Despite being utterly exhausted from being a new mum, Catherine did not sleep well at all last night, she woke up at 5:00 A.M. and drifted in and out of sleep, but only for minutes at a time. She had thought about using this time to get up and showered and grab some breakfast and maybe read a bit, before 3 month old Philip wakes up, but she has simply found herself unable to get out of bed, she just feels... nothing really, and it’s awful. </p>
<p>Honestly she did know a big depressive episode was coming, all her usual warning signs were there, over the last week or so she had lost interest in pretty much all her hobbies, she usually loves to read, write, knit and cook as well as reading to Philip, now she’s a mum, but the last week or so she just hasn’t had any desire to do that, she’s let Arthur take over reading to Philip for now, though he mostly reads him Shakespeare plays and half the time Catherine is too tired to insist they’re not really appropriate for a new baby. </p>
<p>She has also lost practically all motive, usually she always wants to be up and doing something, even when she was 9 months pregnant just days before her due date, she was up and about, talking to palace staff, helping out in the stables and the kitchens, etc. Since Philip came along, she’s taken him out for a walk almost everyday, or if the whether is nice she likes to sit with him in the gardens, sometimes she’ll just sit and hold her son, and think, other times she’ll put Philip in his pram or in a sling and while he naps or takes in his surroundings, Catherine will read.</p>
<p>Lately however, she’s had no desire to even leave The Palace, all’s she’s wanted to do is stay in bed, cuddle her new baby, kiss Arthur and sleep.</p>
<p>Catherine sighs and rolls over onto her back, trying to gather up the will-power to at least sit up, when she hears a very familiar snuffle followed by a high-pitched cry, coming from beside the bed, where Phillip is asleep in his bassinet. Usually she would simply get up, pick Philip up and get back into bed to feed him or change him, but not even the sound of her baby crying can get her out of the bed today. Instead, she turns and pokes her sleeping husband, in the side. </p>
<p>“Arthur.” Catherine says in a loud enough voice to wake him. </p>
<p>“Hmm?” He sleepily asks. </p>
<p>“Can you pass Pip to me, please?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, course.” Arthur instantly agrees, quickly pushing himself up in bed and leaning over to pick Philip up, smiling at the sight of his son’s face. “Good morning little buddy, you hungry huh? You want your breakfast?” Arthur coos, kissing Philip’s little cheek before passing him to Catherine.</p>
<p>Once Catherine has Philip adjusted and settled, she looks down at his pudgy little face and runs a finger over his cheek. </p>
<p>“He’s about the only thing keeping me going right now.” She quietly says. "If it hadn’t of been for him looking to be fed I don’t think I would have even sat up today.” </p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Arthur quietly asks, resting a hand on his wife’s lower back and looking at her with concern. He knows how much she struggles with depression, and her mental health in general. He’s seen her like this before, the day after their wedding they canceled all their plans for the day because Catherine was having a horrendous depressive episode and couldn’t get out of bed, Arthur was worried about her of course but understanding and happy to cancel everything and just spend the day with Catherine, doing everything he could to make her feel even the smallest bit better.</p>
<p>Catherine sighs and lays her head on Arthur’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“I just... don’t feel right, mentally. I feel like my mind is going numb, the last couple of weeks I’ve started completely loosing interest in everything I usually enjoy and I struggle to make myself get up and out of bed everyday. And I’m worried that this will develop into Post Natal Depression, you know how scared of PND I was when I was pregnant, and what a relief it was to so easily bond with Philip, but I’m afraid that it could still happen.” Catherine’s tone has turned tight and teary, and she is so glad she has Arthur by her side right now.</p>
<p>“Do you think it might help to speak to your doctor? Perhaps start going to counselling again and maybe go back on medication?” Arthur suggests, knowing that Catherine attended therapy and was on an anti-depressant medication from the time she was 16 to just last year when she had just turned 24. She’s had depressive episodes since then of course, but lately they’ve been closer together, especially since Philip was born, Catherine had found labor and birth very tough and hard so that surely had a negative impact on her mental health.</p>
<p>“I think that’s a good idea.” Catherine quietly agrees. </p>
<p>“Do you want me to give your GP a call, or shall I bring you the phone and you can do it, or maybe you want to wait until later?” Arthur offers, wanting to offer his wife any and all support possible. </p>
<p>“Would you do it, please? I don’t feel like I have the energy to do it myself.” </p>
<p>“Of course I will love.” </p>
<p>So while Catherine finishes feeding Philip and then winds him, Arthur phones Catherine’s GP, and books her an appointment to see her the next day at 1, which is an ideal time since Philip will hopefully be napping, so Arthur can go with Catherine to the doctor, for support, and Philip hopefully won’t scream his little head off the whole time. </p>
<p>As Catherine lays settled back against the pillows with Philip resting comfortably on her chest, she reaches over to her bedside locker and picks up the book she had been reading before she started to lose interest in reading. </p>
<p>“What’s that?” Arthur curiously asks, trying to make out the title of the book. </p>
<p>“Nothing too interesting, just something light I decided to pick up during the night feeds, but I’ve just been too depressed lately to read, but I really miss getting lost in a story. Will you read it to me, please?” Catherine hopefully asks, holding the book out to Arthur. </p>
<p>“Absolutely, do you want me to read from the start or where you left off?” Arthur asks, accepting the book from Catherine. </p>
<p>“From where I left off is fine, I remember most of what I read already.” Catherine says, making herself more comfortable among the pillows, her hands resting protectively on Philip’s back.</p>
<p>For the next half hour, Arthur sits and reads to his wife and son, happy as can be, only stopping once he notices that Catherine has fallen asleep. Good, she needs her rest.</p>
<p>He gently and quickly moves Catherine’s hands from Philip’s back and gathers his little son into his arms, smiling as Philip looks up at him with big blue eyes just like Catherine. </p>
<p>“Hello little  chap, my little Pip.” Arthur quietly says, bending to press a kiss to his son’s forehead.  “I can’t believe you’re three months old today, it feels like you’ve been here forever, I can’t really remember life before you, I’m sure it was very boring though, who needs a full night’s sleep and a life without shitty nappies, hm? Not me, I know I’d rather be here with you and your mummy than on set for a film, any day.” Arthur then looks over at his sleeping wife, and smiles softly. </p>
<p>“You know Philip, you have the most amazing mummy in the world, she loves you so so much and she’s always going to love you and support you and be the best mum, because she didn’t have a very nice mum growing up- don’t tell Mary I said that-  you’re lucky to have her, she’s going to be the best mum this world has ever seen and one day she’s going to be the best Queen this country has ever seen, she’s not a mean old bully like your grandmother, she doesn’t hate people because of who they are or who they love, or the color of their skin or how much or how little money they have, or anything like that. She’s a good woman your mummy, and we are both very lucky to be in her life.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two hours later Catherine wakes for the second time that day, but feels no better than the first. She had been hoping by now she might be able to at least get up and shower and change her pajamas, but no such luck, it feels totally impossible to get out of bed and frankly, she does not have the energy to fight her depression and make herself get up right now. </p>
<p>“Arthur.” Catherine says in a groggy tone, opening her eyes and looking around for her husband. </p>
<p>“Right here lovely.” She hears his reassuring voice from the other side of the grand room. “I was just showing Pip the Robin that landed on the window ledge, I think I was more excited though.” Arthur smiles, making his way back over to Catherine and sitting next to her on the bed, with Philip in his lap. Catherine smiles and places her hand on Arthur’s cheek. </p>
<p>“I don’t think I can get up today.” She quietly says. Arthur takes her hand off his cheek and kisses her palm. </p>
<p>“That’s alright, Pip and I can have a boy’s day while you rest.” </p>
<p>“I just... Arthur I feel so guilty, I feel like such a rubbish mum.” Catherine tearfully admits. </p>
<p>“You are not a rubbish mum Cat, far, far from it. You’re ill my love, you can’t help that. It’s okay if all you manage to do today is stay awake, if that’s all you have the capacity for then that’s okay.</p>
<p>How about you have an hour or so to yourself, hm? Maybe watch some TV or listen to the radio for a bit, something that doesn’t require much energy but will make you feel good?” </p>
<p>“That does sound nice.” Catherine agrees, sniffing and wiping at her tears. </p>
<p>“Well then I’ll take Pip for a walk and pop to the shops and pick up some things to make your favorite dinner tonight, we can have dinner in bed and maybe watch a movie, how does that sound?” Arthur suggests. </p>
<p>“Quiet nice.” </p>
<p>“Then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll have Louise send you up something simple for breakfast, shall I? Some toast or a bowl of cereal?” Arthur suggests, knowing that if he doesn’t ask one of the chefs to prepare something and have it sent up to Catherine, she won’t eat. Normally they cook for themselves, but on days like this where Catherine can’t get up or they’re busy with Philip, it’s nice to have someone who is paid to make your food for you.</p>
<p>Catherine nods. </p>
<p>“I think I could manage some cornflakes and orange juice.” She admits. </p>
<p>“Coming right up.”</p>
<p>Arthur quickly heads downstairs and spends a few minutes talking to the two chefs on duty day, Louise and Owen. They talk about how lovely it is to have a baby around and how wonderful it is to see Catherine and Arthur so happy, and when Arthur politely asks one of them to throw together some cereal and orange juice for Catherine and have it sent up to her, they are more than happy to comply. </p>
<p>Once that’s taken care of, Arthur heads to the nursery where Philip will sleep when he’s older and ready to be in his own room. For now it’s where they store his pram when it’s not in use. </p>
<p>Arthur spends a few minutes struggling with the fidgety straps, before finally securely buckling Philip into the pram, tucking a blanket around him to keep him warm and slipping some mittens and a hat on him too, before making his way to the front doors of the palace, ready for their walk.</p>
<p>He is just about to leave the palace, having shared a friendly smile with and thanking Meredith, one of the maids, for opening the doors for him, when an all too familiar voice rings through the lobby.</p>
<p>“And just where do you think you’re going?!” Queen Mary demands in a cold and harsh tone, pushing past a poor young girl who has just started as a cleaner, and marching right up to Arthur, who sighs and pulls Philip’s pram back inside. He gives Mary a tight smile. </p>
<p>“Good Morning Your Majesty, Pip and I are just off on a little walk. The fresh air will do us both good after being cooped up in here for a few days.” He calmly explains. </p>
<p>“And where is Catherine?” Mary asks in a sharp tone, looking around for any sign of her way-ward daughter. </p>
<p>“In bed, she’s still recovering from the birth.” Arthur says, knowing that Catherine doesn’t like her mental health being discussed when she isn’t around. </p>
<p>Mary scoffs and rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>“It is not a father’s job to take his child out for a walk that is the mother’s duty. And Catherine needs to stop feeling sorry for herself and get on with her life, It’s been three months since she gave birth, I was up and about 3 <em>days</em> after she was born. I made my first Royal Appearance after her birth when she was just a week old.” It takes everything in Arthur not to snap at his mother-in-law.</p>
<p>“I <em>want</em> to take Philip for a walk, I want to spend time with my son. Catherine deserves her rest, as do all people recovering from birth. You should not have felt as though you had to be up and about so soon after you gave birth, and I’m sorry you did feel that way and that that happened to you, but just because you went through something unpleasant, doesn’t mean everyone else has to as well.” </p>
<p>“Well at least take the nanny with you! It is quiet literally her job to do these things.” Mary points out. Arthur shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Cat and I greatly appreciate Katie’s help, she’s a wonderful young lady and the odd time we do have to go somewhere we can’t take Pip, we know he’s in safe and loving hands with Katie, but she is not needed around the clock and she knew that before we hired her. </p>
<p>Her job is not to raise my son, but to care for him and love him as I do and as Catherine does, for short periods of time when we cannot be with him. It is<em> my </em>job to raise my son, to spend time with him and bond with him, let him know his dad loves him and wants to spend time with him.</p>
<p>Don’t forget that Cat is more than willing to abdicate and allow her cousin Addie to be the next in line, and I’m more than willing to support her on that decision, we’ll do anything to be together and give our child and our future children a safe and happy childhood. </p>
<p>Just remember that, Your Majesty.” And with that Arthur walks out the doors leaving a shocked and furious Mary behind, as well as some very amused staff members. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Honestly Pip, what’s she afraid oh eh? That people will think I’m a good dad? You think I’m a good dad don’t you my little buddy, hm?” Arthur reaches down to lightly tickle Phillip under the chin, making the little boy grin and giggle, which simply melts Arthur’s heart. He couldn't possibly love his son more, the love he feels for him still blows him away everyday, it’s the most amazing thing he has ever felt. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Arthur makes his way to the local Tesco to pick up some shopping, usually of course Royals don’t do their own shopping, and usually their shopping doesn’t come from places like Tesco, but he and Catherine don’t see the need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on imported pasta and bread, when the local stuff does just fine. They also like to do their own shopping as it gives them a sense of normality.</p>
<p>Thankfully no one seems to recognize Arthur as Duke of Edinburgh and star of 2 James Bond films, today he easily blends in with the crowd and looks like any regular dad doing the weekly shop, hoping the bright lights and sounds aren’t too much for little Philip and don't set him off screaming. </p>
<p>After picking up what he and Catherine need in Tesco, Arthur decides to take a walk around Hyde park with Philip, enjoy the rare sunny day they’re having. </p>
<p>After twenty minutes of walking he comes to a stop at a bench, and decides to take a break for a few minutes and get Philip out of his pram for a bit, poor little chap has been in there for the better part of an hour. </p>
<p>“Let’s just hope no one steals your pram because daddy still doesn’t know how to work those flipping breaks.” Arthur coos to Philip, unbuckling him and lifting him into his arms. The pram had been a gift from Catherine’s best friend Lady Iris Kingston, daughter of the Baron and Baroness of Kilkeel. They are extremely grateful for the gift and very appreciative of Iris’ kindness and thoughtfulness but it is a hell of a contraption that both of them have yet to fully figure out. </p>
<p>Philip just blinks up at his father with his big blue eyes, clearly he doesn’t give a shit if someone steals his pram or not. </p>
<p>“You know Pip.” Arthur begins, settling his son in his arms. “This is where I proposed to your mummy, and where she told me she was pregnant with you. I’ll always love this place because of those moments, I hope you’ll like it too. Maybe you’ll have nice moments here, hopefully in years to come we can give you a sister or a brother, more than 1, and you’ll have lots of happy memories of playing here with your siblings.” </p>
<p>Catherine and Arthur know already they want at least 3 children, they’ve been eager to start their family since they got engaged, Catherine was actually 2 months pregnant at their wedding, luckily she wasn’t showing by then or who knows what Mary would have done. At least the next one won’t have to be so meticulously planned and the pregnancy kept secret for almost 3 months for fear of what Mary will say or do. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Arthur and Philip spend another half hour or so in the park, before Arthur decides they better get home and put the freezer stuff away, and see how Catherine is. </p>
<p>On the walk home Arthur is not unaware of the paparazzi cameras thinking they’re discreet and snapping pictures of him, from behind bushes and from the inside of cars, but he doesn’t care, anyone who speculates as to why he’s out alone with Philip clearly has nothing better to do with their lives, and is no one he needs to concern himself with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once home, Arthur puts Philip’s pram back in the nursery, then puts Philip in a baby carrier that Arthur’s mum got them for their baby shower/celebration, they had asked people not to bring gifts as they had more than enough money to get everything, but some people still insisted, especially his parents who were and are so excited about their first grandchild.</p>
<p>Arthur then heads to the kitchen and starts to put everything away, continuously but politely declining any help from the staff, assuring them he’s more than happy to do it himself and they should take a brake, have something to eat and a cup of tea after working so hard all day. </p>
<p>Once that’s all done, he puts the baby carrier away now his hands are free, and with Philip in his arms, goes back upstairs to he and Catherine’s room, to see how she’s doing. </p>
<p>When he steps in he notices the curtains are now open, and the window has been cracked open too.</p>
<p>Sitting up in bed is Catherine, her dark brown hair curled around her face as usual, freshly washed, and she has changed from the same pink satin pajamas she had been wearing the last few nights, to fresh lavender pajamas. </p>
<p>“Hi love.” Arthur softly greets, beaming at her as he closes the door behind him. “How are you feeling?” </p>
<p>“A bit better, thanks. After I had something to eat I went back to sleep for a while, just half an hour, then I woke up and just thought for a while, tried to process things, and after a while I was able to make myself take a bath.</p>
<p>It did take me a while to actually do anything in the bath bar sit there listening to music, and it took me a further half an hour to get out after I was finished, but I did and I changed my pajamas.</p>
<p>I asked Lily to take the old ones and throw them in the laundry shoot for me, or I would’ve put them back on, and bless her she left me fresh ones laid out on the bed, as well as a cup of tea.” Catherine explains, smiling at the thoughtfulness of one of the very kind and sweet ladies who works here in Kensington, as a maid. Lily use to work for Catherine’s mum but Mary was too harsh and brash with the poor woman, so with Lily’s permission Catherine had her transferred from Buckingham to Kensington, where she’s much happier. </p>
<p>“That’s good, I’m so glad to hear that and so proud of you Cat.” Arthur cheerfully says, sitting on the bed next to her and squeezing her hand. </p>
<p>“Thank you, I’m rather proud of me too. Have you got anything else planned for the day?” Arthur shakes his head, and Catherine’s face lights up. “Good, because I really want to spend some time with my boys now, c’mere sweet baby Pip, come say hi to mummy, I missed you!” Catherine exclaims, happily taking Philip into her arms and peppering his little face with kisses, her hair tickling his face making him giggle, which in turn makes Catherine laugh and smile. </p>
<p>“Goodness you are just the sweetest, cutest little thing ever, aren’t you my little love, hm?” Catherine coos, kissing Philip's cheek as Arthur kicks his shoes off and gets comfortable next to Catherine. </p>
<p>“He has your smile.” Arthur happily notes, his own face lighting up as he watches Catherine lightly bounce Philip. </p>
<p>“And your laugh, and your blonde hair for sure.” Catherine replies, running a hand over Philip’s wispy blonde hair that is just like Arthur’s. </p>
<p>“He has your nose, I love your nose.” Arthur leans forward and pecks her on the nose, making Catherine wrinkle her face up and giggle. </p>
<p>“He’s a perfect mixture of us both.” Catherine decides, looking between Arthur and Philip, and noting the little details they share, like how Philip’s hair sticks up the same way Arthur’s does, or how they both close their eyes when they laugh. </p>
<p>“I think so too. We’re pretty lucky aren’t we Cat? To have this beautiful baby boy in our arms, and each other.” Arthur sighs in a happy tone, putting his arm around his wife. Catherine nods in agreement, resting her head on his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Yes, we really are.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>**8 YEARS LATER* </b>
</p>
<p>It is a late Summer’s day in 1999, when a now 32 year old Catherine Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor finds herself struggling with a massive depressive episode again, unable to find the energy to force herself out of bed. It was difficult enough on her when Philip was an only child, and too young to realize something is amiss, but now as a mum to 3 children all between 2 and 8, Catherine feels even more guilty about these days. </p>
<p>The kids know of course, that their mummy struggles sometimes, they know about and understand mental health to a certain extent,</p>
<p> Philip has begun learning about depression and other mental illnesses, at 8, at 5 Bea knows that sometimes your brain can be sick or ill, just like your body can, and at 2 Henry is far too little to understand any of it, but knows that sometimes his mummy needs her space and has days where she’s sad and not feeling very good, but it’s okay because daddy is always there to help and mummy sees a doctor and takes medicine to help with these days. </p>
<p>When Catherine told Arthur this morning, that she didn’t feel like she could get up and do anything today, he was as supportive and loving as usual. He brought the kids into the room for some bonding time and cuddles, while he made breakfast for all them and brought it back upstairs, so they could have a family breakfast and give the kids some sense of normality. </p>
<p>After that they watched a movie and then Arthur read to Catherine and the kids for a bit. After that he could sense that Catherine needed some space, so he put an already fast asleep Henry in his crib, took the baby monitor so he could keep an ear out for Henry, and took Bea and Philip out into the gardens to play football, one of their favorite pastimes. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>An hour after falling asleep when Arthur and the kids left, Catherine is awoken to the sound of footsteps coming into the room. When she rolls over, she sees Henry, his blonde hair rumpled from his nap, his pacifier dangling from it’s clip on his top, and his pajamas stained with orange juice from this morning. This sight of him makes her heart swell with love. </p>
<p>“Mama?” Henry questioningly asks in his sweet little voice, standing by the side of the bed.</p>
<p>“Hi my little love.” Catherine softly says, running her hand through his thick blonde hair when he scrambles onto the bed beside her. </p>
<p>“Mama sad?” Henry asks quietly. Catherine gives him a weak smile and nods. </p>
<p>“Yes love, I am. Sometimes I feel very sad and just not very nice, for no reason. But it’s not because I don’t love being yours and Pip’s and Bea’s mummy, being your mummy is the best thing in the whole world and I love you all so much. And it’s okay, because I take medicine to make me feel better and I see a special doctor every week, who also helps me feel better.” Catherine gently explains. </p>
<p>Henry lays down beside Catherine and curls right up into her, nuzzling his little head into her chest. </p>
<p>“Love mama.” He quietly says. Catherine pulls him closer and presses a kiss to his head. </p>
<p>“I love you too Henry.” </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>*22 YEARS LATER*</b>
</p>
<p>Princess Catherine was the first Royal to be open and honest about her struggles with depression. The second, is her son, her baby Henry. Catherine is so immensely proud of her boy, but also so heart-broken for him, that he has to face the same struggles day in and day out, as she did. </p>
<p>At 30, Henry leads an incredibly happy life, married to his soulmate, Alex Claremont-Diaz, and proud dad to 3 beautiful children, 8 year old Charlotte, 5 year old Amelia and 2 year old Arthur. But just like his mother, and everyone else who struggles with depression, no matter how happy and content Henry is in life, he still has days where he can barely function, and today is one of those days.</p>
<p>Henry had known from the moment he woke up at 9:00 A.M this morning, that today is going to be a struggle, a day where he has to pick and choose what to use his little energy on. Should he get up and try and act normal for the kids, but not have any energy to eat or shower? Should he stay in bed but try and get some work done on his novel and maybe have enough energy to shower or eat, but not both? Or should he just take it easy, stay in bed, sleep again, and at some point later today have a quick shower, have another rest, then have dinner with his family and have an early night, hoping tomorrow will be better? </p>
<p>He knew the last option was really his only option, and when he explained it all to Alex his husband was loving, caring and supportive as always. </p>
<p>They had breakfast in bed with the kids and David, which was lovely. Then they looked through some of their family photos, pictures from Henry and Alex’s wedding, the kid’s births, early birthdays, etc. </p>
<p>After that, it was clear to see both Henry and little Arthur were growing tired, so Alex herded the kids out of the room, settled Arthur for his nap, grabbed the baby monitor to keep an eye and ear out for Arthur, and then took the girls outside to play football, like his dad use to do for he and June all the time.</p>
<p>About an hour later, Henry is pulled from his sleep by a familiar little voice calling him. </p>
<p>“Dada?” Henry rolls over in bed to see Arthur sitting on Alex’s side of the bed looking at his dad questionably, his blonde hair rumpled and mused from his nap and his pajamas covered with yogurt stains and dog hair.</p>
<p>“Hi sweet boy.” Henry softly says, reaching out and running a hand through Arthur’s dark hair.</p>
<p>“Dada sad?” Arthur asks questioningly. Henry smiles weakly and nods. </p>
<p>“Yes baby, I am. Sometimes daddy has a hard time feeling things, or I just feel sad and yucky. But it’s not because I don’t love being yours and your sisters’ daddy. I’ve never been happier since you 3 came along and I would be a lot, lot sadder without you.” Henry gently explains. </p>
<p>Arthur lays down next to his dad and curls right up into him. </p>
<p>“Love you daddy.” He quietly says. Henry pulls his son closer and kisses the top of his head. </p>
<p>“I love you too Arthur.” </p>
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